POLITICAL HUMOR

"He was only in Afghanistan for four hours. That may not sound like much, but it's more time than Bush spent in the Texas National Guard." - --Jay Leno




"President Bush made a surprise trip to Afghanistan, and he promised the Afghanis that the United States would not cut and run. Then he got on his plane and left." - --Conan O'Brien








"Earlier today, President Bush flew to New Orleans. There was an awkward moment when the president looked around and said 'Oh my god, what the hell happened here?'" - --Conan O'Brien

"In his acceptance speech, George Clooney said he was proud to be out of touch, and today George Bush said, 'Hey, me too.'" - --Jay Leno

"President Bush says America has caused an incredible transformation in Afghanistan. He said everything's being rebuilt, people are getting jobs, kids are going back to school. He said it works so well that he's thinking of trying it in New Orleans." - --Jay Leno

"President Bush was also in Pakistan. Which is a little scary. When they landed there they landed in the dark with the lights off and all the shades pulled down. So if you count the Dubai deal, that's the second time President Bush has been operating in the dark." - --Jay Leno

"Plans were announced to raise $300 million for the George W. Bush Presidential Library. $300 million. That's almost $150 million per book." - --Jay Leno

"President Bush got off the plane in Pakistan and said, 'Pakistan is a force for freedom in the Arab world.' Only problem there is Pakistan is not free and they're not Arab. ... Earlier in the week he referred to the people of India as Native Americans." - --Bill Maher

"When he was in India he saw a woman with the red dot on her head. He thought she had been hunting with Cheney." - Bill Maher











"This week President Bush made a surprise visit to Afghanistan. The president said he heard it was a good place for an embattled leader to disappear into the mountains." - --Tina Fey

















"On the port deal, a lot of Republican congressmen are saying let's not rush to judgment, let's investigate it and be sure of our facts. Gee, too bad they didn't try that before we invaded Iraq." - --Jay Leno

"Another embarrassing moment for President Bush. On his energy tour, they asked him about alternative fuels. Bush said, 'What, oil's gay?'" - --Jay Leno



George Bush has a heart attack and dies. Obviously, he goes to Hell, where the Devil is waiting for him.
"I'm not sure what to do," says the Devil. "you're on my list, but I have no room for you.
But since you definitely have to stay here, I am going to have to let someone else go. "I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you'll have to take their place. I'll even let you decide who leaves." George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.
The Devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and climbing out, over and over. Such was his fate in Hell.
"No!" George shouted. "I don't think so. I am not a good swimmer, And I don't think I could
do that all day long".
The Devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing the hammer, over and over, time after time.
"No! I've got this problem with my shoulder, I would be in constant agony if all I could do was breaks rocks all day", commented George.
The Devil opened the third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton Lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread-eagle pose.
Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky doing what she does best.
George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this." The Devil smiled and said "Ok, Monica, you're free to go!"

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FOLK SONGS OF THE FAR RIGHT WING
http://folksongsofthefarrightwing.cf.huffin

gtonpost.com/
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Subject: On the Bible and the Constitution
On Wednesday, March 1st, 2006, in Annapolis at a hearing on the proposed Constitutional Amendment to prohibit gay marriage, Jamie Raskin, professor of law at AU, was requested to testify.
At the end of his testimony, Republican Senator Nancy Jacobs said: "Mr. Raskin, my Bible says marriage is only between a man and a woman. What do you have to say about that?"
Raskin replied: "Senator, when you took your oath of office, you placed your hand on the Bible and swore to uphold the Constitution. You did not place your hand on the Constitution and swear to uphold the Bible."
The room erupted into applause.
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The administration didn't screen the Bush audience in Kansas. They never suspected that a college sophomore could stump a Harvard and Yale graduate. (We've known that for a long time. Here is the TV clip and transcript.)
http://thinkprogress.org/2006/01/23/sophomore-stumps-bush/
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BUSH AND PRAYER
The 23rd Qualm
Bush is my shepherd; I dwell in want.
He maketh logs to be cut down in national forests.
He leadeth trucks into the still wilderness.
He restoreth my fears.
He leadeth me in the paths of international disgrace for his ego's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of pollution and war, I will find no exit, for thou art in office.
Thy tax cuts for the rich and thy media control, they discomfort me.
Thou preparest an agenda of deception in the presence of thy religion.
Thou anointest my head with foreign oil. My health insurance runneth out.
Surely megalomania and false patriotism shall follow me all the days of thy term.
And my jobless child shall dwell in my basement forever.
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A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"
St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where's President Bush's clock?" asked the man.
"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

PHOTOS: no idea as to who the original artists are


Prior to viewing this site, it was important for me to write My Disclaimer. I have an illness that warps my mind and has certain ill effects such as my vision, loss of balance and muscle coordination, slurred speech, tremors, stiffness, bladder and bowel problems, difficulty walking, cognitive problems and even paralysis. With that said, to Mr. Bush, take it easy on a sistah as I am NOT responsible as to what may appear here. Perhaps if you, Mr. Bush had allowed treatment for my illness, then I wouldn’t be so insane. Please check the definition of INSANITY.